


Like I'm gonna lose you

by TheNorthRemembers



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Smut, blowjob, some emotional stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNorthRemembers/pseuds/TheNorthRemembers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martin and Hyukkyu spend the night before the semifinals 2015 together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like I'm gonna lose you

For a boy his age Hyukkyu has seen a lot of the world. Technically speaking he’s been to a lot of different countries, but to claim he has seen them? No. Most of his old classmates probably never left Korea, while Hyukkyu at the age of 18 has been to several European countries, has been to America, lives in China.

 

If he’s honest though, it’s all a bit of a blur of different hotel rooms and studios with computers and big screens. It’s more or less the same no matter where he goes, the rift is always the rift, it doesn’t matter if you are in Korea, Shanghai or Berlin.

 

Right now he is in London for the quarter finals of Worlds 2015, Hyukkyu with his team Edwards gaming. He is here too. Martin “Rekkles” Larsson, Fnatic’s adc. They are both here in London because tomorrow they will meet in the rift once again.

 

Tonight though, tonight is not about League, or maybe it is but in a very distant far away thought at the back of Hyukkyu’s mind.

 

The elevator door dings open and for a split second Hyukkyu stands frozen. He’s not completely sure what the rules are for this kinda thing, what the consequences would be if he was caught sneaking into the enemy adc’s hotel room the night before the big fight for a spot in the semifinals. But he knows it’s probably not good. Martin knows it too. He had been very tentative when he had asked Hyukkyu if they could meet up, if Hyukkyu wanted to. It’s risky, dangerous even for them to be doing this, but after that day at the London eye , so close together but nor close enough, not being able to touch, to even look at each other for too long, how could Hyukkyu have said no? He had nodded quickly before his brain was even done with deciphering Martin’s accented English. Yes, yes to anything, he had blushed and Martin had smiled shyly before turning away before any of their respective teammates could notice anything.

 

Nevertheless, he quickly hurries down the corridor, painfully aware of the utter absurdity of this whole situation. He of all people, being the one sneaking into another boy’s hotel room, like he was a character in some bad daily soap. Bizarre.

 

He knocked softly, his own heartbeat feeling louder than the knock, so Hyukkyu is not sure how Martin could have heard but the door opens. And there he is, smiling at Hyukkyu before stepping to the side allowing him to enter the hotel room.

 

Martin stops in the middle of the hotel room, playing with his hands, his eyes barely meeting Hyukkyu’s.

 

He’s nervous, just like me, Hyukkyu realizes and strangely enough it calms him a little.

 

“I…” he tries, talking is hard in English; he often wishes he had paid more attention in school, that he spoke it better, even though it never used to bother him. But Martin changed that. Martin changed everything.

 

“Where is…?” Hyukkyu gestures towards the second bed. Martin rooms together with his support, Yellowstar, Hyukkyu knows that, he’s just a little self-conscious about pronouncing the word. It’s always like this, after a time not speaking any English he always feels a bit uneasy but over the course of a conversation with Martin it always gets better.

 

Thankfully Martin always finds a way to somehow understand what Hyukkyu is trying to ask.

 

“Ah,” Martin says “Bora, he is…well I asked him, if he could spend some time with the others…somewhere else.” Martin blushes and to be honest it’s a little adorable “He didn’t ask any questions. I guess he thinks I want to bring…a girl here.” Martin awkwardly shrugs and smiles sheepishly.

 

Hyukkyu tilts his head and raises his eyebrows “I the girl?” he doesn’t mean it like an accusation or something, he’s not even sure how he means it, what he means, what this means. He’s not really sure of anything, just that he’s here and that Martin now is rambling something that’s probably an apology or something but it’s in English and it is too fast, too much for Hyukkyu’s brain to decipher and he didn’t really meant for Martin to feel like he has to apologize for something. So he shuts him up the only way he can think of right now.

 

Hyukkyu kisses Martin. It’s easy, he doesn’t have to get frustrated while trying to string English words together, he just kisses martin. And even though it’s been so long it still feels like home.

 

It’s not a passionate kiss, it’s chaste, just his lips on Martin’s but it’s good. So good.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Martin whispers when they part and Hyukkyu just nods. He knows. If he or Martin wanted a girl, they’d be with one right now. But they are here. With each other.

 

“Martin,” Hyukkyu begins, he wants to say this, has wanted to for so long now. It’s a bit stupid he knows, but after that video they did for riot together he feels like he was to tell Martin in person again. “Singapore, remember?”

 

Martin blushes again “Of course I do.” He says with a grin and Hyukkyu just shakes his head smiling, tapping the back of Martin’s hand softly.

 

“No idiot. Not that. After… you said…” he pauses, still feeling a lump in his throat when he thinks about it, “You told me to win. Fnatic not make it out of groups. You told me to win. But I…” he looks down “I couldn’t. So sorry. I tried but…” he stops then because he doesn’t know what to say. He already said it in the video, how Rekkles told him to win but Deft in the end, was unable to.

 

Hyukkyu know it’s stupid, ridiculous even but he had felt so crushed after they lost. But also guilty not just because of disappointing himself, his team and his fans, but also because he felt like he disappointed Martin.

 

“Hyukkyu" Martin begins softly, but Hyukkyu just shakes his head "No I know. Stupid better this time, right?”

 

“Yes.” Martin nods, he’s looking at their intertwined fingers, between them. Hyukkyu silently wonders if it’s silly, them holding hands, like children, after what they did in Singapore last year.

 

But it’s not last year. And it’s not Singapore.

 

It’s London and It’s 2015 and while Martin still makes Hyukkyu’s heart beat like crazy, the thing with this long distance relationship (if they can even call it that) , is that there are so long periods of time between them seeing each other it’s always a little getting to know each other again, every time. It’s scary, bit also nice. Maybe.

 

“This year… I want to. You or me. You or me win, yes?”

 

“I’d like that too.” Martin says quietly, then he chuckles. “Tomorrow we can promise each other though. One of us wins, right?”

 

“Yes.” Hyukkyu says smiling. It’s comforting in away, but also damn fucking unlucky. Because who loses and it’s either Martin or himself, there is no other option, gets eliminated. It feels like last year all over again. Just with more at stake. This isn’t groups. This is the quarter finals. The whole world is watching.

 

“At London Eye” Martin is smiling his trademark smile, his blue eyes crinkling, “When we were there together…I wanted to kiss you the whole time. Was so hard not to.”

 

“Good you didn’t.” Hyukkyu says, his eyes meeting Martin’s, he’s smiling too though, “but you want to? ...now? Kissing?”

 

Again, he feels so silly, asking like that after they already kissed moments ago. But that was Hyukkyu wanting to kiss Martin, not the other way round. He wishes he could tell Martin in all those elaborate words he has floating around in his head, how he wanted tom kiss Martin there too, on the London Eye. He wants to tell Martin how he thinks about him all the time even when they are continents apart, how the year since they last saw each other felt so long and he so lonely. Hyukkyu wants to tell him how it was moving to china after the Korean exodus as they called it, in more words then he could via skype. He wants to tell Martin about the night his new teammates had taken him to a bar, to celebrate, how awkward he had felt and how a sweet Chinese girl with bleached hair and blue contact lenses had kissed him and he had felt sick to his stomach.

 

Hyukkyu wants to tell Martin so much, so many things, but he can’t. The words in his head are Korean and he’s scared he’s scared if he tries transferring it all into English he’ll mess it up and it will all come out wrong. So when Martin nods he doesn’t say anything, he just leans in, lets Martin initiate the kiss this time.

 

This kiss starts chaste too but it grows more heated quickly, they are both young with so much pent-up energy, it’s hard to hold back and when Martin’s tongue slides against his own, Hyukkyu realizes, they don’t have to. They don’t have to hold back. It’s them; they are together again, finally. They got a hotel room and they got tonight. It’s all they got so Hyukkyu will take it.

 

“Martin…” he half whispers half moans as the other boy starts pressing kisses onto his neck. He feels electrified and they barely did anything yet.

 

Hyukkyu lets his own hands wander, more bravely than he feels. They were resting on Martin’s hips now one has found its way under Martin’s shirt touching the smooth skin of his stomach.

 

Martin lets out a breathless laugh that sounds suspiciously like a moan. It makes Hyukkyu want more, more, more, so he pulls Martin down into a kiss again, more roughly that originally intended, his hands now in Martin’s hair who is now kissing Hyukkyu back just as hard. There are teeth involved this time. Hyukkyu bites Martin’s bottomless who whines and practically arches into the kiss, pressing closer if that’s even possible. It makes Hyukkyu feel kinda dizzy, the good kind of dizzy. He feels Martin’s knee pressing between his legs, it makes his breath hitch, it feels so good and he’s already so hard. It should be embarrassing really, but Hyukkyu can feel, Martin is already just as hard.

 

“Off.” Hyukkyu mumbles tugging at the hem of Martin’s shirt, he wants it gone, wants to see Martin, wants to feel him. Martin nods and takes a step back to take his shirt off, while Hyukkyu tries not to whine at the loss of contact. Martin looks just as handsome as he did a year ago maybe even more, his chest rising and falling quickly in excitement.

 

Martin says “Don’t stare.” But before Hyukkyu has time to blush or even process the words Martin’s lips or on his again, hot and wanting. He bites down on Hyukkyu’s bottom lip. And it hurts but it also makes Hyukkyu’s cock twitch in his too damn tight pants.

 

“So nice.” Hyukkyu whispers when he finds his voice again, letting his hands ghost over the other boy’s pale skin. “So pretty, Martin. Many girls like, no?”

 

Martin pulls back at that looking at Hyukkyu intently and for a split second Hyukkyu is afraid he mind have ruined it whatever this is, but then Martin kisses him again and it’s against the skin of his neck that Martin whispers, “No. No girls. No one since Singapore. No one since you.”

 

It doesn’t matter if it’s true, if it’s a lie or not, but for this moment it lifts a weight of Hyukkyu’s heart he didn’t even know was there. He can’t help but grin. Feeling cheeky he pushes Martin backwards, who easily follows Hyukkyu’s lead until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed. Martin lets out a surprised noise at that.

 

It’s a little weird, with the other boy on the bed and himself still standing he’s actually taller than Martin. Martin who looks at him like he’s something beautiful, something precious, like this what they are doing here isn’t all kinds of wrong.

 

Quickly, before he can come up with a reason not to he pulls off his own shirt and moves to straddle Martin’s hips. Martin crashes their lips together again, one hand at Hyukkyu’s jaw, the other at his waist, trying to get him even closer. Hyukkyu eagerly complies by grinding down on the on the other boy’s erection, drawing another moan from him.

 

It gives Hyukkyu some kind of rush to know, to feel, what he is doing to this boy, to Martin, who could have anyone, has countless of fangirls who would be more than willing, but choses to be here. With Hyukkyu.

 

Martin nibbles at Hyukkyu’s ear his hands roaming over his chest, briefly tweaking a nipple making Hyukkyu whine.

 

“Can I-“ martin begins but he never finishes the question or Hyukkyu is just too preoccupied to hear because suddenly Martin flips them around so hyukkyu is the one lying on his back with Martin hovering above him, a small mischievous grin on his lips.

 

Hyukkyu is waiting for him to say something but instead Martin just continues pressing kisses down hyukkyu’s chest, his fingertips brushing over his nipples again, like on accidents but Martin knows well how sensitive hyukkyu is there how it makes him squirm and pant.

 

“Please” Hyukkyu gets out even though he isn’t really sure what he’s asking for, he couldn’t even tell if he just spoke English or Korean, but it doesn’t matter because after briefly hesitating, maybe giving Hyukkyu time to object, maybe out of nervousness, martin pulls down Hyukkyu’s jeans and boxers.

 

Their eyes briefly meet before without further ado Martin takes him into his mouth. Maybe it’s because Hyukkyu has not an awful lot experience with this kinda thing or maybe because Martin is just a natural but feeling the other boy’s lips around his already embarrassingly hard cock feels so good, it make shims see stars. Hyukkyu bites his lip, so hard he might draw blood, in an attempt to hold in what would be a shamefully high pitched moan. His hands find their way to Martin’s already messy hair, tugging slightly. He doesn’t know what exactly he wants just that he does. Martin can’t take him all the way but he makes up for it by wrapping his hand around the base of Hyukkyu’s cock while teasing the sensitive tip with his tongue. The slightest hint of teeth scraping along the sides makes Hyukkyu arch into it throwing his head back. He has to close his eyes, he just has to. If he keeps looking he will come and this all will be over before it even started. Martin other hand is on Hyukkyu’s thigh, caressing the bare skin, making shivers run up and down Hyukkyu’s spine.

 

On second thought Hyukkyu isn’t so sure anymore if closing his eyes was such a good idea because in a way it makes the feeling even more intense, the feeling of Martin sucking his cock. It makes his thoughts run wild, because how can this be real?

 

“Martin…” he moans, accidently bucking up into Martin’s mouth, making him choke just a little.

 

Hyukkyu’s eyes fly open at that and he feels mortifies. It must show on his face because Martin offers him a smile and says “It’s fine.” He has pulled off, a little bit of spit or precome dribbling down his chin from the corner of his lips. It looks kinda obscene and oh god he did that, he Hyukkyu, made fnatic’s golden boy look like this, ruffled hair, flushed face, lips kiss swollen and-

 

Martin kisses him again, wet and open mouthed, pining Hyukkyu down onto the bed with his body.

 

Martin is still wearing his pants and the rough fabric of those black skinny jeans rubbing against his Hyukkyu’s sensitive hardon makes him feel like he’s going to lose his mind. If he hasn’t already lost it.

 

They part for a second, their lungs screaming for air. Martin rests his forehead on Hyukkyu, smiling at the boy under him. “Your hair” he whispers “I like it. The color, it makes you look fierce.”

 

“Fierce?” Hyukkyu echoes, busy with his hands on Martin’s fly, trying to fumble it open. “What is it mean?”

 

Martin chuckles and roles off him, obviously too impatient with Hyukkyu’s fumbling, and pulling down his zipper tom finally finally get off his pants. He grins “Mh it means… hot? Wild? Intense?” but it sounds more like a question than an answer because in that moment Hyukkyu reaches down between them, wrapping his delicate hand around Martin’s leaking cock. He hisses his lust blown eyes finding Hyukkyu’s again.

 

“Wild?” this time Hyukkyu chuckles and Martin just nods before they are kissing again, exploring each other’s mouth’s with their tongues while pressing their bodies together as close as they can. It’s not enough. It’s never enough.

 

“Hyukkyu…” Martin mumbles, his voice barely audible and when Hyukkyu looks at him the other boy actually looks a little embarrassed, making Hyukkyu frown. Did he do something wrong? Did he fuck it up somehow without even noticing?

 

“Can you…I mean will you….Fuck.” martin says something in Swedish that sounds like a curse to Hyukkyu, but then he takes a deep breath and locks eyes again.

 

  
“Can you fuck me? please…” his voice is a little hoarse and he’s panting just like Hyukkyu is but the words are clear.

 

Hyukkyu seems a little lost for a moment and it makes Martin’s heart beat to his throat like crazy.

 

Hyukkyu sits back on his heels and gestures from himself towards martin “Me…you?” he asks and Martin nods quickly. Yes, yes because he wants that. He’s a little scared and nervous but he wants it, he really does.

 

He quickly gets lube and a condom out of his suitcase and pushes them towards Hyukkyu, who slowly nods taking both items in hand carefully.

 

It’s been so long since they’ve been together like this, so it slightly hurts and makes Martin gasp when Hyukkyu pushes one lube slick finger inside of him. They kiss again; it distracts Martin from the pain, helps him relax and gives Hyukkyu time to open him up better. Soon or maybe not soon at all, time is reduced to a blurry unnecessary concept in the back of his mind, Hyukkyu ads a second and then a third finger, stretching Martin further.

 

He isn’t sure when exactly pain starts turning into pleasure but at one point Martin finds himself rocking back onto Hyukkyu’s fingers, trying to quicken his pace. He wants him to get deeper, wants him to hit that sweet spot deep inside him wants-

 

“Eyes. Open.” Hyukkyu says, and even though his voice it’s breathless it’s no less of a command, so Martin eyes fly open meeting Hyukkyu’s dark ones. Martin is not sure when he closed his eyes but looking at the other boy now it’s just overwhelming. He’s so beautiful, so unbelievably beautiful, Martin can’t help but pull him down into another hot open mouther kiss again, which is not really a kiss though, it’s more them just panting into each other’s mouth’s, too worked up to manage a proper kiss. Martin’s hands are hopelessly tangled in Hyukkyu’s thick auburn hair.

 

“Do it.” Martin half hisses half moans, when Hyukkyu crooks his fingers just the right way. “Do it now.”

 

Hyukkyu doesn’t reply, he just pulls his fingers out leaving Martin feeling strangely empty. Hyukkyu fumbles a bit with the condom and if Martin was able to form any coherent thoughts he would notice how Hyukkyu’s fingers tremble, just oh so slightly, but he is just so turned on, he wants Hyukkyu so badly.

 

“Like this?” Hyukkyu asks his hands ghosting over Martin’s thighs for a moment.

 

“Yes.” Martin nods quickly, his voice breathless. “Like this. Want to see your face.”

 

Hyukkyu smiles shyly and isn’t that bizarre? How can a person look so cute and hot and completely breathtaking at the same time when they are about to fuck your brains out.

 

Then Hyukkyu pushes in and all at once every thought just disappears from martin’s mind as he cries out utterly overwhelmed. All his nerves feel like they are on fire, wound tight. Feeling Hyukkyu thrust into him, filling him up, it makes everything vanish into nothingness. The world stops existing form this moment. There is no game tomorrow, no fight to nails and teeth, no teams, no distance, just them. Just two boys in a hotel room. Just Hyukkyu inside of him, skin against skin. Just Hyukkyu’s mouth on his throat, his collarbone, leaving wet and hot kisses, kisses with teeth.

 

“Hyu-“ Martin gets out, having to summon all his willpower to gently push Hyukkyu just enough away so they can look at each other. Hyukkyu gives him a cheeky smile, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.

 

“Be careful. No marks…people will see- oh-” Martin cuts himself off as Hyukkyu slides a sticky hot hand between them to Martin’s cock, squeezing it tightly.

 

“Team thinks Martin is with girl, no?” Hyukkyu whispers, nuzzling the crook of Martin’s neck. “Maybe girl kissed Martin here?” he kisses him there and sucks, making Martin squirm. “Maybe here. Or here.”

 

Martin should really stop him, he knows that, there will be marks, marks that will get him uncomfortable jokes and questions from his team, marks they’ll need to have to cover with makeup. But it feels so good. And if he’s honest it’s an extra turn on to see this kinda possessive side of Hyukkyu. Being marked as his, it shouldn’t make him even harder, but oh it does.

 

Hyukkyu actually has the nerve to giggle licking over the sensitive skin, where Martin can already feel bruises form. Martin rocks his hips in response, hooking his legs around Hyukkyu, pressing him closer.

 

Hyukkyu lets out a breathless moan as they fall into a sweaty almost frenzied rhythm, too turned on for any fancy techniques or whatever they always do in porn. Hyukkyu is babbling something, probably Korean, maybe even English, martin isn’t sure, all he hears is the rush of blood in his ears, the violent pounding of his heart. He can barely hold onto Hyukkyu, his blunt fingernails clawing into Hyukkyu’s back, leaving marks of his own, as he comes suddenly, quickly, spilling come on his own stomach between them. Martin has time to let out a quick “Oh” before Hyukkyu follows him over the edge and there is nothing quite like it, feeling the boy you love coming inside of you.

 

They like this for a while, just tangled up into each other, a sticky sweaty mess, feeling their hearts beating together in silence.

 

They need to get up eventually. Martin knows that. They both need a shower and the windows need to be opened, because the whole room smells like sex. Still he can’t help but drag this moment out a little longer, hold Hyukkyu in his arms a little tighter and just put returning to reality off for a little longer.

 

***

 

Later when they are both dressed again, they are sitting together on the bed, just their shoulders touching. It feels like a déjà vu. This is good bye again. Sure they will see each other tomorrow, but they won’t be Hyukkyu and Martin then, they won’t be lovers. They will meet as Rekkles and Deft, as rivals, enemies.

 

The thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth, after what they just did.

 

Hyukkyu sighs softly and leans his head against Martin’s shoulder. Martin feels like he should say something, he doe3sn’t know what though, so he just opts to drawing patterns with his thumb on the back of Hyukkyu’s hand.

 

“I… have to go…” Hyukkyu says eventually, he gestures towards his phone. “Team keep asking where I am, why I not with them.”

 

Martin nods quietly, then forces himself to get up, break the contact. He takes a deep breath and puts on the best smile he has to offer right now.

 

“Then come on.” He holds out his hands for Hyukkyu to take and pulls him up to his feet.

 

Hyukkyu looks down on his feet for a moment before looking up again, allowing their eyes to meet. “Martin.” He says, his voice barely audible. It breaks Martin’s heart.

 

“I know.” Martin says quietly. “See you then.”

 

They kiss goodbye then. It’s soft and chaste, a little like their first kiss, it makes Hyukkyu’s heart warm and ache at the same time.

 

See you then. They never say exact times. It’s always something undefined, something uncertain. They can’t afford to promise each other more, not with the lives they are living. Their world is so fast paced for promises. So Hyukkyu will take a See you then, will take soon, and someday. He takes it and holds onto it because it’s all Martin can give him.

 

They have Singapore. Now they have London too. Hyukkyu might not remember much about those cities, about their sights and people. But he’ll remember them. No matter what happens. He’ll always remember him and Martin here.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any person(s) or brand(s) mentioned in this piece. This is a work of fiction and is meant to be read as such.
> 
> enjoy or don't (but i hope you do).  
> just don't be mean.  
> feedback appreciated.
> 
> thanks for the title chikabow <3


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